Premiership Party Restarts

Imagine the new Premiership season as a house party. It was just livening up. The owner of the house, Mr Ferguson, is nowhere to be seen and he's left David Moyes in charge of running things smoothly. Yet it got out of hand quickly, Mourinho snuck in as Sir Alex departed, even more Welsh people arrived, Daniel Sturridge couldn't stop dancing and Kyle Walker's been doing nos balloons!

But just before it really got going, FIFA showed up. Not to shut down the party, but to enforce more civilized, boring party games, more commonly known as World Cup qualifiers.

Not to worry though, one week, another Rickie Lambert international goal, a dreary goalless draw in Ukraine and the usual coinciding media criticism -later, the Premiership party is ready to resume.

*push play to restart party* 

If you haven't already, I strongly advise you pause the above video before continuing to read on before you begin some kind of panic attack only David Moyes on transfer deadline day can relate to.

Anyway, without sounding too much like an over dramatic Sky Sports advert; 'Here are just some of the highlights we can look forward to this weekend...'

The Wilfried Zaha Derby - Man Utd vs Crystal Palace

The 12.45pm kick-off could see Wilfried Zaha (shown below holding hands with Stephen Crainey of Wigan) face his former side who he helped to promotion last season. Whether or not Zaha merits a place in the side will depend on his manager's judgement of his midweek performance for England under 21s, pre-match training and Moyes' chances of spelling his name correctly on the team sheet. The latter being a possible reason why neither Wilfried Zaha or Shinji Kagawa have made competitive appearances for "Moyes' Boys" this season.

Zaha and Crainey competing in the traditional '3 leg race' after the Community Shield final.

Chadwick's prediction: "Three nil to United. If I said anything else the fans would kill me, they still haven't forgiven me for making that big money move away from United, to West Ham."

Ozil's Debut? Or the end of football's biggest hoax?

I won't believe that Arsenal have actually signed a world class player for such a huge fee until he makes his debut. Yes, I saw him, or at least someone who looked like him, being unveiled as Arsenal's 'new signing,' but I'm not ruling out the possibility that it's all a huge prank. What if, when Mesut was 'offered' to Arsene Wenger by Real Madrid it was actually a prank call by that renowned practical joker/club president Florentino Perez? And instead of sending the German playmaker to the Emirates, they actually sent a lookalike whose taking his own chunk out of the £44 million for his part in the scam. Far-fetched I know, but still seems more believable than the Gunners spending big in the transfer market.

Anyway, should the real Mesut Ozil make his debut this weekend it will be at Sunderland's Stadium of Light and whether he dribbles past three Sunderland defenders and curls one in the top corner or gets man marked and muscled out of the game, the German's debut will be a well discussed topic among fans, pundits and newspapers by Monday morning. 

Wenger gazing lovingly at his new signing, or is he inspecting him closely to determine whether or not he's the 'real Mesut?'